Another Busy Week

Our neighbors, two doors down, happen to be an elderly widow who is homebound and her adult daughter who suffers from an autoimmune disease. I was assigned to be their home teacher a few months ago and have enjoyed visiting them. Raye is also her visiting teacher and a counselor in the RS and as such, sees them more than I do. She was very instrumental in getting them to allow the ward to bring in meals a few times per week. They were very reluctant to accept any help at first. This has however been a great blessing. Many members of the ward have gotten to know and love them and visa versa.

This last week was designated for our ward as "A Week of Service" with many projects taking place. Raye had to head up all of the projects and was very involved. A lot of good things were accomplished. A few sisters who had gotten to know the Webbs, decided it would be nice to do a home "make over". Sister Webb's bedroom was and an office was re-made. The rooms were painted, curtains made and hung, new furniture provided, new bedding for the hospital bed and a collection was taken in order to provide a beautiful picture of the Savior for the bedroom. Raye had spent a few nights working with others on this, but as the project was winding down, there were several tasks still to be done.

So...Saturday afternoon as our children and grandchildren had gathered at our home to celebrate, what would have been Becca's 17th birthday, we all realized our assistance was needed. Our children were so eager to pitch in. Chelsea, Lane, Kristina, Caleb, Abby, Raye and I were put to work on some of the finishing touches (setting up a mini fridge, cutting and hanging blinds, stenciling patterns on the wall, hanging the picture and cleanup). We had a good time together and were glad to be asked to help out. We especially loved the look on Sister Webb's face, as her new bedroom, was presented to her.

The entire week was wonderful for all involved.

Our Family Motto: "Just Love"

Some years ago, a woman came to me for some advice. We had known her for a long time and watched as a difficult marriage ended in divorce. She did the best she could with her children, but her youngest, a daughter was struggling and now found herself pregnant. I remember the anguish of this mother as she told me about her daughter and her concerns. "What am I going to do with her?" she asked. Without a conscience thought, the following words came out of my mouth:, "Just love her, sin has its own consequences, just love."

Later that night these word would not leave me....just love. Sin does have its own cosequenses, and I knew that over the course of my life, love many times had given way to the passing of judgement. Wounds that could have been healed with love, had been made to sting all the more, because I had chosen a lower path.

For several days, Raye and I discussed the exchange I had with this sister about her child. We decided to incorperatre what we had learned and make it our family motto. We discussed how true desciplship comes not in loving those in whom we see good, that's easy, but in loving those in whom we see the "not so good." With our own family members and others, we have learned that pursuasion, long suffering, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned coupled with kindess, pure knowledge, charity and virtuous living (D&C 121) are the real keys. I really appreciated Pres Uchtdorf's talk in conference on love and discipleship. http://lds.org/conference/sessions/display/0,5239,23-1-1117,00.html)

And I am really grateful for that moment a few years ago, when, while counseling another, I was instructed as well...."SIN HAS ITS OWN CONSEQUENCES....JUST LOVE"

We Love Conference Weekend

For as long as I can remember, we have always enjoyed Conference Weekend. When we lived in Massachusetts, we would pack a lunch and travel up to the Stake Center in Nashua, NH and make a day of it. Wherever we have lived, we have made it a point to attend as many sessions as possible. We have enjoyed the opportunity of sitting in the Tabernacle and Conference Centers for many sessions. But like most of you, we now don't even have to leave the home (except for Priesthood Meeting).

For the past several years, we have started a new tradition of making breakfast on Sunday and having all of the kids and grandkids over, and even some extended family. This was an idea we got from Dave and Bobbi Beagley and we have Incorporated into our lives. This morning I was thinking about all of the work and sacrifice it takes to raise a large family....but these things pale in comparison to the blessing and joy they are to us now.

Conference was wonderfully edifying and instructive. It has provided us with a feast that we can enjoy for a long time. I love being able to download the entire sessions to my MP3 player and listen to them over and over. Some of the greatest spiritual insights and personal revelations that I have received, have come while on a long hike or traveling or lying in bed at night. Doctrine and Covenants 121 promises that "the doctrine of the Priesthood shall distill upon your soul as the dews from heaven..." Gratefully I have found this to be the case as I listen to, study and apply the messages from the leaders of the Church.

Saturday Night Phone Calls...What a Blessing

I should have learned this lesson a long time ago....late Saturday night phone calls usually mean one thing...."Teach my lesson, please?"

And so....I was able to teach priesthood this last Sunday. Topic: "Family: The sweetest union for time and eternity." What a great thought. It brought to my memory something that happened 3 years ago. Jordan had just turned 8 and it was his baptismal day. This was in Septmeber and had been a little more than a year since we lost Becca. We all were accutely aware that our family was not complete with her absence. As we were in the chapel, listening to the special music that was being provided, I had the distinct feeling that she was there. No, it was more than a feeling. It was real and I knew she was present. In my mind, somewhat surprised to feel her presence, I exclaimed, "Becca, you're here." Her reply came to as if I could hear her voice, "Dad, I will be at all of the big events, we're family." Tears filled my eyes and warmth filled my heart. The words, "Dad, ... we're family", resonated deeply.

Grateful for the tender mercies of the Lord and eager to share this with the rest of the family, I could not wait to get home. To my delight, Kristina, who was in tears throughout the baptismal service, had already spread the news. "Did anyone else feel Becca's presence today?" she asked as soon as we walked in the door. Continuing, she related, "She was definitely there, I felt her and could not stop crying!"

I have asked myself many times, what is a "big event"? Perhaps if I knew, I could selfishly plan them more frequently and enjoy having her with us more often. We miss her so much. I have, however, settled upon the idea, that perhaps any event in the family, where covenants are made and ordinances preformed, would qualify as "big event" from an eternal perspective. I now look forward to every such occasion, with a little more anticipation than normal...and so far, have not been disappointed.

Another Sad Day

Last Saturday morning as Raye and I were still lounging around, my cell phone rang. My friend Jeff called to let us know that some friends of ours were traveling to St George, when a truck heading north on I-15 suddenly lost control and crossed the median striking their van. Nyal, the father, did not survive. We were heartbroken to hear the news. Our thoughts were turned to Katie and the boys. It is so, so painful to go through such a thing, and yet, there comes with this, the sweet reassurance that "all is well". Nyal will be missed by all who knew him, and he will be able to touch many who will come to know him through his surviving family.

I wanted desperately to be at the viewing and funeral and tell Katie personally how I felt, but I had a committment in Denver that simply could not be rescheduled. Raye was able to attend both and spoke with her. We know some of what she will now face and hope we will be able to support her through this. Grieving is such a loney and isolating road. For us, the journey was made easier by so many good friends who showed up at just the right moment or said the right thing, or simply put an arm around us when we most needed it. I know Katie will have this too.

As for Nyal, he was a good man. I often heard him bear his testimony and was always touched by his sincerity and the spirit which accompanied it. I have been to scout camp and other outings and watched him in amazement. He was the outdoorsman, I never was, but wished I could be. He talked often of his time in Croatia as a missionary and I reminded him that during my time, Yugoslavia was part of the Vienna Austria mission which I served in. I often joked that we served in the same mission. I have been in leadership meetings with him and was always impressed with how he conducted himself and carried out his duties. Vocationally, Nyal was an attorney, and after working as a prosecutor, recently worked as a criminal defense lawyer. I was always intersted in his work and had read an article about a difficult case he had. This case surrounded a fatal car accident involving a teenage boy and his mother and a toddler. I asked him often about this case and though he could never disclose the details that were not public, the conversations always left me with an impression of the level of compassion he personally felt for those involved. It truly was a sad case.

And now, his own demise comes at the hand of a teenage driver. I know Nyal would want us to include this young man in our thoughts and prayers as well. That was just the kind of man he was.